Hand in Hand Foundation

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Birth Mom Frequently Asked Questions

  1. Do I feel I am ready to be a parent?

    Having a child is a 24 hour-a-day responsibility. Are you ready to set aside the things you want to do - job, education, social life? It is important to think about these things. If you answered no, adoption may be the best choice for you.
  2. Am I selfish to consider adoption?

    No. It is never selfish to choose what is best for you and your baby. In considering adoption, it shows you are mature enough to realize that raising a baby can be difficult and that you are concerned about being a good parent.
  3. When do I have to decide about adoption?

    You can decide at any time during your pregnancy or later after the baby is born. However, making the commitment to adoption before the birth makes the placement easier for everyone. For your protection, you do not place your baby in an adoptive placement until after the birth of the baby.
  4. Can I choose the family that will adopt my baby?

    Yes. You can look at photos and letters from our families and decide which family would be best for your child. We can arrange a meeting in person or by phone for you to get to know them better, if you wish. We will help you establish the kind of relationship you want with the family both before and after the birth.
  5. What will others think of me for choosing adoption?

    Those who care about you will know you have made the most loving and courageous choice for you and your child. They will also have their loss to experience.
  6. What is the first step if I'm considering adoption?

    We will answer your questions and help you get the information you need. We can arrange to meet with you and offer emotional support making this difficult decision. We want you to make an informed decision, understanding all your rights and choices..
  7. What is the birth father's role?

    His role is the same as yours. However, if you disagree on adoption, or are no longer in a relationship with him, we will work with the court to determine if his rights can be terminated.
  8. Do I need an attorney or do I pay my agency to assist me with the adoption?

    You do not need an attorney and there are no costs to you. We, as your agency, will handle all legal details on your behalf. You may also receive assistance with medical costs and some expenses that relate to your pregnancy.
  9. What are some common experience I will feel after placing my child for adoption?

    It is natural to experience loss after deciding to place your child for adoption. This sadness is a healthy and normal part of the healing process. Even for the birth mothers who have a profound sense of peace from knowing they gave their child the best possible start in life, they still have to deal with the loss. We will be available to help you and provide the emotional support you may need.
  10. Does God condemn me for this pregnancy?

    No! It is our belief that God uses the trials of our lives to grow us for many purposes, all of which enhance relationships in our lives if we are willing to learn. God may not change the consequences to our actions, but desires to walk along side us as we go through them.